Do not pass the bread!

He had flip flops on (1st date)..ok it's So Cal..but to have your leg up on the booth showing your nasty toes and picking your toe nails! Then to touch the shared bread immediately after...I pretty much vomited in my mouth...and did not eat the bread nor much of my dinner.

Think for yourself, dude!

We were walking out of the movie theater. I was 18 and he was the same. I said to him, "which political party are you registered with?". He replied, “what do you mean?” I said, “you know…are you a Democrat? A Republican?...” He shrugged his shoulders and said to me, “I don’t know. I will be whatever you are”.

Slam Drunk

My first prom and I got asked by the most popular senior basketball player. I was so excited and as he stumbled to the door to pick me up, my big smile went to a scowl. Our picture taken by my aunt was of him with a goofy drunk grin and me with the “I’m with a dumbass” look. The night ended with me driving myself home in his car as he was making out in the passenger seat with one of my girlfriends.

Cockpit Crush

It was a beautiful day for sailing. It was our second date and this was my surprise for her. There was a boat owner who invited us to take a sail on his boat. What I didn’t realize was that he had a crush on my date. I ended up on the bow of the boat all afternoon as she was in the cockpit with him.

Slip of the Tongue

He is about to drive me home when he pulls into a secluded area to show me the “ocean.” It’s late and the view of the ocean is pitch dark (no full moon that night). He opens my car door and has me look at the view. It’s dark..there is no view. I turn around and say “it’s too dark” and he lays a kiss on me. Not a gentle kiss, but a tongue down my esophagus kiss. I yanked him off and said “you’re lucky you have your balls still. Now take me home before you don’t.”

I Won’t Drink to that

He decided we should stop in a bar to have another drink after dinner. He orders two beers. I took a sip and realized I drank way too much wine at the restaurant and said “I can’t drink this; I had too much wine already.” He says “yeah, me too” then walks out of the bar. The bartender looks and me and hands me the bill shaking her head.

Not So Fine Red Wine

We sit down at a really nice restaurant he picked out and he asks me what type of wine I preferred. I said “white” and he turns to the waiter and says “we will take a bottle of your house red”.

Half Halibut Man

He asked me what I wanted to eat (at this well known expensive restaurant he picked out for us to go to) and I said “I hear the halibut is really good here.” The waiter came to take our order and he said to him, “we are going to split the halibut.”

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